The Trailer for “Battlefield America” AKA “The Saddest Thing I’ve seen this Week”

Ladies and gentlemen this is what America is all about. Sick dance moves and schoolin’ bitches–er, classmates?

Exploitation at it’s finest, Battlefield America takes all the things that made it’s predecessors watchable (dancing) and shrinks them down to pre-tween-size. No kids this age should have half the drama these kids appear to have in the brief snippets of what I’m sure is a contrived “plot” about “who’s got iller moves” and “who knocked out who in a game of foursquare on the no grass, inner-city school playground”.

I will no doubt watch this at a house party some years down the road and reminisce about seeing the trailer for the first time and wishing I wasn’t so damn perceptive.

Usually these dance movies (I won’t use the word “film”) follow a set pattern, usually focusing around a trouble youth’s impressive talent that serves as an outlet for their emotional turmoil (and it’s also a secret! Shh!). There’s usually a love interest, and a “Boy meets girl. Boy dance battles girl’s hardcore dancing ex-bf. Boy wins, but not at first. Boy gets girl. More dancing.” plot. Having only ever seen this plot work with the 18-35 crowd I’m interested (but not really) to see what angle they take with developing this story.

This film looks ridiculous.

Enjoy the trailer. (More dislikes than likes on YouTube at time of posting)